Friday, December 11, 2015

Carlos Ray Norris ★ 2016

So, I had an interesting discussion with my wife the other day about Putin, the President of Russia. I remarked how, even though I didn't like him, I approved of how he was very 'pro-Russia.' I said I wanted someone like that for America. I don't even care particularly if I liked said candidate's platform, I just wanted to know, without a doubt, that the man (or woman) in the Oval Office cared about the country as much as I did. That someone was putting America first.

Essentially, I wanted someone who could one up Putin's image of riding a horse bare chested with an AK-47 slung across his back. Say, someone riding a Kodiak Brown Bear with an M1 Garand across his back. Or, maybe riding a motorcycle with missile launchers on it! That's the hero that America needs.

It took me only a moment to realize that America already has such a hero. And there are already images of him riding a motorcycle with missile launchers. While wearing American flags to boot! Yes, I am formally proposing we elect Chuck Norris for President in 2016.

That's all I had to say. Have a good night.


Knight of Infinite Resignation said...

Not sure I consider starting wars in which thousands and potentially millions of your countrymen will die particularly patriotic. But then I guess you can hide all sorts of crimes under a big enough flag.

CounterFett said...

Well, I did say I didn't like him at the start. But everything he's done (off the top of my head anyway) has been pretty straight and narrow pro-Russian.

"The Ukraine? Belongs to Russia."

"The Crimea? Belongs to Russia."

"Oil Pipelines? Black Sea? Turkey? Belong to Russia."

Again, I don't like him, and I think he's a horrible war monger, but you certainly can tell which side he's on. And as best we can tell over here, he's very popular in Russia. That might be skewed a bit by their press, but what country's press isn't skewed by political bias anyway.

Sorry, I digress. We're probably bringing too much real thought into what was supposed to be a lighthearted endorsement of a man who isn't even running for President.