Wednesday, July 11, 2018

The Astray Australia Advance! Spaceballs Vs. The Solar System III

The time for an incursion onto Earth has finally arrived. The Spaceballs consult aboard their mothership on where a landing would be most beneficial. Dark Helmet is inclined to land in a heavily populated zone, in order to force a decisive military confrontation. Sandurz, on the other hand, thinks a more conservative, unopposed landing is more prudent. Skroob has nothing of value to add. Sandurz is persuasive enough, aided by captured Earth memes which show Australia as Scooby Doo's head, that Dark Helmet is convinced. Surely a land shaped like a cartoon Great Dane cannot be too formidable.


The landing itself is uneventful, and Helmet and his ground forces find themselves in a lush, swampy wetland. Because many of his Spaceball marines are still tied up in mopping up operations on Mars, he is obliged to accept reinforcements from the Spaceball Navy Security force.

"I always thought my fleet didn't have enough balls!" he mutters to himself.


Before the invaders progress far, however, they begin to have difficulty with the local fauna. Several of the team are downed by venomous amphibians and giant arachnids. Even Crimson the Carnotaurus is put into a deep narcotic slumber after eating a number of the critters.


Dark Helmet and the remaining ambulatory troops are forced to pull back. Rescue skimmers are successful in extracting all the disabled Spaceballs, while Crimson requires a dropship fitted with a cargo sling and a multitude of antacids.

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